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My Art.To live truly means having the power,
To be able to, at the flick of the wrist,
Create something that is nothing less than beautiful.
As if a deity has been guiding my hand.
Every tear I cry has a purpose, to inspire,
As it reflects another flaw that I have.
But with every mistake I've collected,
I created this perfect, graceful harmony.
I was able to grasp a radiance that is,
Unfathomable, unimaginable, and unreal.
And I can mold it into something my own.
I named it art.
I bled out my heart onto a piece of paper.
And the pain was reformed into magic.
Born into the inspiration that gave me the will,
To believe there's something worth living for.
And suddenly I could fly on broken wings.
I could let out the darkened monster, caged within me.
And my fleeting spirit is now set free.
My reflection in the mirror is no longer shattered.
I don't have to suffocate anymore,
Because I can breathe freely now.
One place where no one can chain me down.
Where no one needs to judge me...
Wilting.Love wilts away like a flower.
It was once beautiful,
But now it has rotted away.
To look upon it now,
What was once a fragrance,
That was so sweet and divine
I couldn't describe it.
Now is with the foul, reeking,
Garbage that I call my past.
A mixture of feelings is laying,
In the pit of my hollow stomach.
I don't know if it's hate,
I don't know if it's sadness.
I just know that I've felt this way before.
It always arrives to tell me,
I haven't had my fill.
I am ravenous, greedy for love,
And I need more.
But even without such, I shall survive.
For I'd rather taste love's sweet nectar,
Than to be wedded to death.
So if love is like a wilting flower,
Is there a seedling I may find,
To nurture, and to grow love again?
Floating Out to Sea.If I float out to sea today,
I'd still be reminded of you.
The remainders of you...
How you forced yourself down my throat,
How you left me here without even a boat,
And nowhere else to go...
I go where your current carries me,
Strung me along with the wind that you followed...
Slapped me in the face, with your stinging cold heart.
But your embrace exhilarated me...
Brought me to fantasy...
No one else to please, only you, it's always only you, and it still is...
You swept away the only soul, who cared so much for you...
You took out, away into the night, where I never saw you again...
Yet you still dragged on me when I tried to tread tears towards the shore...
My heart you stole still will beat, weakly, in your slippery fingers...
While when I try to take your hand, you slip right through mine.
Then there's the throbbing headache, before those black spots,
Cloud my vision...
The salty kiss of yours, all I've ever known...
Crimson Iris.The church bell tower chimes midnight,
and through the stained glass windows,
peers in the shining moonlight...
And onto the altar, where you lay, I see,
my pure, innocent angel,
soiled, tainted, by killer's greed.
Painted porcelain perfection,
my darling, shattered,
cracked, twisted and pained reflection.
My beloved, adorned in white,
dyed a bright red,
caused by weapon's blight.
Your disheveled bouquet, scattered around you,
the petals soak in your blood,
and leave behind the essence of you.
I throw myself onto your sullied corpse,
and stain my formal jacket,
The one you picked out for me, of course.
I rip out the knife deep in your belly,
and raise it to my throat,
the tip of the blade scraping my skin just barely.
Then I stop, and drop the knife,
fighting back my tears,
I tell you, I will avenge your lost life.
I promise, I'll find whoever did this,
even if I have to kill,
my beautiful crimson iris...
Isolation."I'll be fine", she says with a forced smile,
but you know she's lying,
She's always lying...
She's shut away in her room,
Day in, day out.
So much, that I've forgotten her face.
What can I do, to show you the world?
You'll never see, you'll never see,
behind those little white walls.
She resists, she resists,
But the pain is eating away at her,
Love is waiting outside the boundaries.
The Impossible ClimbI have a dream in my heart.
It became clear when I was old enough to understand.
There was a mountain between me and the talented.
And without hesitation, I started to climb.
But the mountain crumbled beneath me,
And I fell down, down to the bottom.
But there they remained, those demigods, gloating from up at the top.
And I ask, where’s the fairness in that?
What kind of twisted justice is this?
Who chooses who to stand in the clouds?
I wish for a world where I could enjoy my life,
Standing on my own two feet, on equal grounds with everyone.
Where I’m free from your judgment,
And my own.
Sitting around, doing nothing.Sitting around, doing nothing.
To some people, it's okay.
But I can't help but to think
there's more than that, waiting outside
waiting for me.
Pleading to the sky, to drop a few stars,
Down to my level,
where I can touch them.
My hollow heart aches and moans.
Why does failure need to hurt so much?
Why does nothingness tear me apart?
That perfect dream, made just for me.
If I knew what it was,
I'd never stop chasing it.
I want to prove to myself there's something I'm here for.
Something in my heart,
Won't allow me to stop searching...
Is it to become a success?
Is it to fall in love with someone who cares about me?
Is it to shout to the whole world:
People have their art, their music,
their academics, their athletics.
And what do I have?
I want to stop observing behind the glass
and crash through with everything I am,
shards and all.
With the mess of colors I was painted with,
nothing stands out p r o m i n e n t l
Hatred of the Body, Not the Life.Beaten again by a genius.
You try your hardest,
and it's never enough.
They didn't even break a sweat.
They didn't cry all your tears,
tear up your room.
They didn't even bother laughing,
at your defeat.
Sometimes it's like you're nothing,
nothing more than a spec of dust
on the face of the world.
It makes no sense.
Aren't girls supposed to be pretty?
Aren't we all supposed to fall in love,
and isn't someone supposed to
return those feelings?
Your problems become miniscule,
when you walk in someone else's shoes.
Praying for a change, then apologizing all night for it.
This endless cycle of psychological suffering.
Like you don't deserve to be sad,
but you don't deserve to be happy.
And how does this fear of dying escalate,
when it seems like there's no reason for you to stay?
Take it all away, please.
But I don't want you to take it from me.
The things that are precious to me,
are what's causing all the anxiety.
Because you don't want them to leave.
Your heart becomes wrapped in fear.
Who I AmI am the girl who cried
Because someone stepped on
Her caterpillar she believed could talk
I am the girl who climbed
High up an apple tree
Just to see if she could
I am the girl who colored
a yellow chair purple
Because she thought it would be prettier
I am the girl who stood
Up on the higher bookshelves
Because she knew those books were more interesting
I am the girl
Who means it when she says
She loves you
Who holds her pillow at night
Until she falls asleep
To dream of you
I am the girl who
Hates wearing socks
Because she likes to be able to feel everything around her
I am the girl who never stopped
Dreaming day after day about
How high the sky is and how long it would take to reach it
I am the girl who still loves and believes
All these things
And so much more
I am depressed.I am sad. Crying. Bored. Alone. Empty.
I am guilty. Scared. Angry.
I am tired. Restless. Jittery.
I am nervous. Disorganized. Self-consious.
I can't think. See. Move.
I am in a fog.
I feel ugly.
I am dying inside.
I am depressed.
FORGIVENI cling to You. I'm standing, but I feel like I'm not. Only You hold me up as I cling tightly to Your robe.
I'm slumped over, my head resting, pressed against Your chest. My hands clinging to Your arms & sleeves.
Tears flow down my face, & I can't feel anything but peace. I know You'll never leave me, but yet I cling so tightly
as if, if I let go You'll get away. I don't ever want to leave this place of security. In the Glory of Your Light, I feel like I'm not good enough. Who am I that You would love me so much? I feel like a wretch, diseased & filthy.
I'm afraid to look at myself...if I look anything like the reflection I see in my mind. I'm expecting to be leprous, filthy & hideous; skin hanging off of me, open wounds all over me; marred beyond all reason.
I finally look down at myself & for a second forget how to breath.
I am made perfect, spotless, clean, glowing & beautiful. I look more healthy & alive than I ever thought any human could be.
Then I look back at You & g
Am I?Am I beautiful?
Am I emo?
Am I worth it?
Am I selfish?
Am I a fail?
Am I weak?
Am I broken?
Am I mentally ill?
Am I weird?
Am I boring?
Am I an ill fit?
Am I a hypocrite?
Am I plain?
Am I different?
Am I too young?
Am I insignificant?
Am I true?
Am I enough?
Oh Vagina Why Must You Bleed?Oh vagina why must you bleed?
Cant you let me be happy and free
why must you make those seven days hell
and why must my laundry bill be so high that it makes me sell my dell
Sure you make men fall head over heels
and give jobs to very many fine ladies on street corners
but the blood everywhere wrecks their deals
then they will starve and have no mourners
all because of you vagina
even effecting the Asians in china
why must you give up so many god damn emotions
and -aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh oh god why, waaaahhhh I ran out of lotion
do seals even have a vagina?
Your so prejudice against us humans
especially those who live in Carolina
SO GIVE US BACK OUR GADDAMN HAPPINESS!
Who do you think I am?Look deep into my eyes,
tell me what you see.
Who do you think of,
when you think of me?
Am I the sweet one,
the loyal, faithful friend?
Or do you just use me,
am I a means to an end?
Am I the love of your life,
the one you can't live without?
Or am I just a good time,
just trash you'll soon throw out?
Am I the mean girl,
the one that scares you so?
Or am I the one you torture,
when you think no one will know?
Am I the forgotten girl,
the one that no one can see?
Or do you spend your nights
awake fantasizing about me?
Am I the weird girl,
the one that you put down?
Or am I the funny girl
everyone calls the class clown?
Am I the suicidal girl,
the one who tries to kill the pain?
Or am I the vibrant girl
who loves to dance in the rain?
Who do you think I am?
Do you even really know?
There are so many sides of me,
but only a few I ever show.
.:. Forgiven .:.I have lied,
I have stolen,
I have committed adultery
by looking at the opposite gender with lustful desires in my heart,
I have said God's name in vain,
I have been an idolater
by depending on my fleshly desires instead of depending on God,
I have been greedy
by desiring money and every other materialistic thing more than anything else,
I have lusted
for and desired the things that this world has to offer,
I have gotten angry, rude and arrogant with my family and other people,
I have sinned against my God, who created the Heavens and Earth,
Who has the power and authority to judge me guilty before Him and his Heavenly court on Judgement Day.
Yes, God is good but because He's good, He's also FAIR! He will condemn us to Hell because we have committed crimes against Him!
BUT!!! There is good news!!
Someone has already paid ALL OF OUR FINES!!! We no longer have to be imprisoned in Hell!!
We have the option to be free from our guilt!!
Jesus Christ has already sacrificed His innocent sel
A story of a girl
Let me tell you a story about a girl....
She's sixteen, comes from a good home, a christian home. Her parents love each other, they both work, her mother's works in the baptist ministry her dad is the director of the technology department of a local community college. There happy, or so it seems.
This girl she has a problem, she's a cutter, she find pleasure in cutting her thighs open. Watching the blood flow in the bath water, she need help. But no one notices a damn thing there to obsessed with her "perfect" older sister so her hurt and pain goes unnoticed by people only pretending to care.
The cuts keep her going, not people or friend. But the scars on her thighs. Her heart is broken, shattered to pieces. But no on notice anything. She's a good actor, can fake her happiness and smiles easily. It was harder at first but it got easier, she was always trying to hide her pain and with every fake and forced smile she succeed and the acting got easier. A game really, and she is just a paw
Who I am.I am another broken heart.
I am just one of a billion specks of dust.
I am a girl with low-self esteem.
I am a person longing for a purpose.
I am a victim who needs help.
I am nothing without something to believe in.
I am someone who clings to other people.
I am influenced by everything and everyone.
I am a dead soul who hasn't lived yet.
I am the critic that hates everything.
I am the murderer with blood forever on my hands.
I am the grateful child, forever burdened.
I am an over-achiever who needs to be perfect.
I am the dreamer who will never reach her dreams.
I am dirty and disgusting.
I am ugly and gritty.
I am a human who does things only for herself.
I am a friend who isn't a very good friend.
I am the most jealous of all the jealous.
I am the prisoner trapped in her own never-changing world.
I am the traveler lost in the past.
I am the young lady, who isn't fit to be a girl.
I am the lover who loves all.
I am a filthy sinner who likes to sin.
I am a disobedient follower of God.
MercyOh sweet God how the grassland
ignites in moonlight tonight
I must thank you for creating
her tangled fingers' slow pace
through the handsome rain Her
trochaic kinesthesia to rhythms
in Stravinsky's The Rite of
Spring Is this how you meant
for us to love you Yahweh
Tumbling clumsily down hills
of sheets into perpetually
immutable silence I could love
you like that I think I've been
practicing on this Savanna
for days and months Lost in
her crystal canvas Rolling crests
and troughs And when she touches
me Oh fair Lord I'm dragged into
your city past Gethsemane's
pulsing green and gold
Please hold us together
under this luminous stretch
Oh Father We are live
unclothed Our reflections awash
with the skin of your sun
Keep in Touch!
A two-time Community Volunteer for the deviantART Related category, Anne is well-known as a positive, helpful force. She is the community's resident expert when it comes to CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), and her personal gallery offers a wide variety of tutorials for new and experienced coders alike. In addition, each winter she hosts a calendar project encouraging members to create Journal designs for all to use, bringing more creativity to the community.
It is with immense gratitude that we acknowledge Anne as the recipient of the Deviousness Award for October 2014. Read More